Ever struggled with security software? If you can relate to any of the following statements, you might want to try Trend Micro Internet Security—it won’t slow you down.

1. Your security software is so out of date that last virus it found was the one that killed off the dinosaurs.

2. Your security software has such a large footprint you keep getting calls from the Guinness Book of World Records.

3. Your security software is so hard to use that Stephen Hawking gave up on it and went back to investigating quantum entanglement and Yang-Mills instantons.

4. Your security software is so weak Trojan horses literally push it around and laugh before contaminating your system.

5. Your security software is so slow you suspect that you’re being Punk’d by Betty White.

6. Your security software is so difficult to use you’re considering taking it to counseling.

7. Your security software slows your computer down so much that the only game you can play during a scan is Frogger.

8. Your security software is so old there was a celebrity endorsement from The Backstreet Boys on the box.

9. Your security software is so sketchy that it identified itself as a potential threat.

10. Your security software is so old, it originally came with a coupon for floppy discs.